The Good, The Bad & The Army

Mike is home Friday. Sunday the baby is at her grand-parents and we're doing all the last minutes preparations before we move. Monday we check into a hotel and the process begins. Move, load, Clean - and Thursday we drive to our new home.

This should be the happiest time our lives right now. After 2 long freaking years we're finally going to live under the same roof. But last night I was not a happy camper. My eyes are red from the crying and from the 4am wake-up call from my daughter. Who did NOT go back to sleep. Guess who's taking a Costanza style nap today??

On the phone with Mike he was telling me about a field exercise that he has to do in February. That's where he's gone for ten days. He was all excited because the location was being moved. Instead of doing it here, in the dead of winter, they are going to do it with the US Marines somewhere in the States where its much warmer. He was very excited. And I was not. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Why are you quiet? I told you about the field ex. And its the same amount of time I'll be gone, just in a different place. If I have to be gone for the same amount of time then at least it's more fun for me this way."

He never told me about this particular field ex. Yes I knew there would be times that he would be away for days/weeks at a time, but he hadn't told me about this particular thing. So that irked me. He has a terrible way of relaying "bad news". A couple weeks ago it looked like he was going to have to go to Germany for some training thing. And he just casually dropped it into the conversation, and it was supposed to be in November - you know a couple of weeks after the baby and I pick up and move away from friends and family? I was so annoyed. Luckily Germany didn't pan out, but it just made me more aware of our reality. Right now we're together 15% of the time. When I move there, we'll be together 75%, which is much better than what we have now, but is it the kind of life I pictured for myself? Um no. I always thought I'd fall in love, get married, and be with that person forever. Not really what is going to happen. At least not for the next few years.

And yes I know this is what we signed up for together. And Mike reminded me on the phone last night that he has this career so that we can start a life together, and build up the family. And there are unfortunate circumstances surrounding that decision.

Oh yeah, and then there's the fact that his name is on a list to deploy to Kabul next November. Fun times right??? Anyone who reads this who knows me in the "Real world" - let's avoid discussing the topic ok? I'm still in denial, and I'm not fully ready to accept this fact just yet. AND, I refuse to stress about it for the next year.

So instead of being all happy sunshine and rainbows about this upcoming insanely awesome event - aka: the move - I'm actually stressed to the max and feel like bursting into spontaneous bouts of crying. Ooooohhhhhh the army life!!!!