Back to Basics

This blog started as a place for me to babble on about my feelings. When Mike first left for training I was a basket case a lot of the time, and I never wanted to be the "downer" friend. I leaned on my friends as much as I thought I could without falling in that category, and then would turn to the blog to whine or complain. It was great.

Then I sort of got used to Mike being away, which was great for being able to cope, but really, I don't think you should ever get used to your husband being gone. Regardless, my rants turned to other things. And then I was prego, so that took up a lot of blog space. And recently I feel like its become a daily (um, more like weekly, or monthly ...) journal. I felt pressure to write and update on "life" in general. And that pressure made me procrastinate, and the longer it took for blog posts the harder it became to actually write.

So here I am with a good ole whine! wooooo

I'm having a hard time with this pregnancy. I was spoiled with Lola. It was a great pregnancy, and as far as births go, it was pretty easy. I'm 18 weeks now and already I'm hurting. My lower back kills. It's my tailbone, and the only relief I have is sitting. That is not something that happens very often around here. My hormones are also out of control. I find myself getting upset over nothing ALL the time. It's great fun for my husband. Not so much. And I'm having major self-image issues. I look in the mirror and I do not enjoy what is looking back at me. And its worse when I see pictures of myself. I see every single teeny tiny flaw and then stress about it all. I didn't have these issues the last time.

I'm not usually a negative nancy, but I find myself having to work through the craziness that is whirling around in my brain. Not fun.

I have a hair appointment back home over the holidays, I'm hoping that'll help boost the way I feel on the outside. The air is a lot dryer up here, and I feel like my hair is all stringy and dead. A nice cut will make me feel better. And that same day is the sex reveal ultrasound! I'm very much looking forward to that. My dad is going to watch Lola, and Mike and I are having a lunch date before the appointment.

I just want to state that I'm not in a "bad place" or anything. Living here is actually way better than I thought it would be. It's fantastic living with Mike and Lola. I've met a bunch of people. And being a stay-at-home-mom hasn't driven me crazy yet. But, at times, I get a bit down is all. And having this blog as a place to express myself helps.